10-5-12

As Always life is CRAZY and unpredictable.  There is so much to write about.

On a positive note, the Afghan Whigs concert exceeded my expectations.  They are my 2nd favorite band of all time. I have been following them since..... 95ish? Of course, they broke up at some point and I saw Greg's other bands but Afghan Whigs have always been my favorite. The singer cleaned up his act and was spot on the night of the show. Nothing like a sold out venue where everyone knows every word to every song. AMAZING!

Of course, my phone battery died so I only got a clip here and there.

Ginger!

To my Ginger Sistas!

This is too funny not to share. The sun will never be our friend.

A parody of Die Atwoord

Shimmer

In a time where everything is disposable, I am so proud of my BF for working on the marriage instead of running away from the problems. CHEERS TO YOU BUD!




It is a coldplay type of day.

Recently someone posted, for those of you that say, God gives you want you deserve, you must be tucking all of your kids into bed at night.

Indestructable

I have so much on mind and not enough time to think these days.  Or maybe, I can't think which is why I am going to a neurologist. Whatever the case, I hope they can get me on the right track so I don't end up a miserable old person. haha* Oh whatever. If I am not miserable now after EVERYTHING I have had to deal with, I will never be...    People get old, bodies break. Realizing that this might be residual effects from falling out of a car when I was 15-16 years old is a kicker.  I guess I am not indestructible. boo*

I am really happy that I have a new group of friends that are very positive people and a joy to be around.  I didn't realize that for the past decade I have been around such negative people


.








A re-post... I think.

To tell the truth To tell it well.....

Whoa this song just popped into my head.

waited long

The waiting's over

So get on down

This time we go a little lower

The sun has broke

I stretch it out

And throw some gas into the fire

To tell the truth

To tell it well

It all depends upon the liar

It feels so good to tell the truth and tell it well.  One person at a time.  

To All the REAL MEN out there, I hope you had a magnificent Daddy's day.

REAL MEN ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR ACTIONS!

Friends

I saw a great friend from high school last night. It amazes me how so much time passes, life & situations change, yet our friendship never missed a beat.  You would have never know that we last saw each other 9 years ago! He was like my big brother. [he says, "Bean is the trouble maker isn't she? she is your mini-- knowing me for as long as he has, he saw right through her hahahah*]   Anyway, I have been so caught up with girls and have been so busy that I didn't realize he wasn't in Kansas anymore (lol); Nashville!  Where the heck have I been- oh yeah, first getting into trouble with stupid people then chasing toddlers!  

O

I am amazed with America's fascination with 50 Shades of Grey.  This book has created spark in bedrooms across the nation. Every woman wants a Christian Grey.....  (I am sure some women want a break from Christian Grey too once in awhile- hehehe*  lol)

Regardless, I am not impressed with this series.  It is a good intro to the BDSM world for the novice but this type of literature has been around forever.  Quite frankly, this book is lacking. . . . .  Read an old school novel.

Three BDSM classics are

Justine by Marquis de Sade 1791
Venus in Furs  Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch  1870
Look at the authors names. Meet SADISM & Masochism............
Underground classic : The Story of O? published in 1954..... 

The how to manual that has a lot of great info......
Screw the Roses and Send me the Thorns 
"There's clear explanations and detailed tutorials for beginners, as general as "safe, sane, and consensual" and as specific as "you will be swinging the whip with your arm pivoting at the shoulder." There's also solid advice, safety measures, steamy suggestions, plenty of black-and-white photographs, useful and humorous drawings, an extensive glossary, and over 900 entries of S/M clothing and equipment vendors, publications, computer bulletin boards, and organizations worldwide. As sadomasochism is a practice that's still taboo for many people, the chapter on finding partners and sharing your fantasies with existing partners can be invaluable.

First shows in over a decade and both SOLD OUT! woohoo!  MEMORIES.........




http://www.spin.com/articles/afghan-whigs-play-first-show-13-years-full-report?utm_source=spintwitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=spintwitter

SET LIST FOR THE FIRST SHOW AT BOWERY: I SURE HOPE THEY ADD "NOW YOU KNOW!"  Great list though.  I can sing each one of these songs word for word. lol  Did I mention that What Jail is like has been my ringtone for the past 5 years.

Setlist:
"Crime Scene, Part One"
"I'm Her Slave"
"Uptown Again"
"What Jail Is Like"
"Going to Town"
"When We Two Parted"/"Dead Body"
"Gentlemen"
"66"
"Conjure Me"
"Crazy"
"My Enemy"
"Debonair
"Bulletproof"
"Summer's Kiss"
"Faded"

"See and Don't See"
"Lovecrimes"
"Fountain and Fairfax"
"Somethin' Hot

"Miles Iz Ded"

Little Talks

Isn't this song weird?!

There is a great debate over the meaning:
Some people say that it is about the loss of a child tearing a couple apart.  Others suggest that it is about the loss of a spouse.  Some individuals believe that it is in reference to marriage that is dead to the wife.   She is very unhappy but the husband is holding onto it, saying everything will be OK.  It all sounds plausible.

hmmm.......

What do you think it means?

I think we need a "Shinedown" moment when the writer explains what it really means.

YAY!!

Oct 5, Afghan Whigs are playing in NYC. To some this is simply a concert, but to me it signifies an era of my life when I lived in NYC.  I  really got into Gentlemen & Congregation! Sadism, Masochism, Love, hate and sex.  Although brooding and depressive, it really represents a period when I was truly happy with myself. I loved the city and the ability to be me!  Being me, isn't easy. lol

My first ring tone: What Jail is Like

Lonely?

Maybe or maybe not

It all depends

Your ideal, your image

Your definition of a friend

If what you're shoveling is company

Then I'd rather be alone

Resentment always goes much further than it was supposed to go

Doing the right thing....

I feel like I should write a tell all story. As soon as I am finished with my current obligations, I will do so!!

the whispering that is not labeled: YOU LET ME DOWN THIS TIME
                                                   i am the exit

love the iron maiden, slayer and Metallica t's. lol




Plans of what our futures hold, foolish lies of growing old
It seems we're so invincible, the truth is so cold
A final song, a last request, a perfect chapter laid to rest
Now and then I try to find a place in my mind
Where you can stay, you can stay awake forever

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book its burned
Place and time always on my mind
I have so much to say but you're so far away

Sleep tight, I'm not afraid
The ones that we love are here with me
Lay away a place for me
'Cause as soon as I'm done I'll be on my way
To live eternally

How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book its burned
Place and time always on my mind
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay
When I have so much to say and you're so far away

I love you, you were ready
The pain is strong and urges rise
But I'll see you when he lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands untied

So far away and I need you to know
So far away and I need you to, need you to know

Mom, Aria and Aunt Donna, I miss you.

With every change of season, I must begin the task of sorting clothes. I think I need to toss/give away all the stuff that says, "Grandma" loves me. My girls will never remember having a grandma or a Nawney. It is really sad.

Mother's day will be here before I know it. Last year, we had such a good time. X took us for brunch and then later my Mom came over for potato pancakes and other yummy treats, Who knew that it would be one of the last times that my Mom really would eat something and enjoy it? CANCER SUCKS!

I miss my Mom so much.




If you were here
I know that you would
Truly be amazed
At what's become of what you made
If you were here
You would know how I treasured every day
How every single word you spoke
Echo's in me like a memory of hope

When you were here
You could not feel the value that I placed
On every look that crossed your face
When you were here
I did not know just how I had embraced
All that you hid behind your face
Could not hide from me
'Cause it hid in me too

Parent:
Hello tiger, it's great fun, talking with you. like this--in fact I'm going to do it more often

Now that I'm here I hear you and wonder if maybe you can hear yourself
Ringing in me now that your somewhere else.

Parent:I miss you a lot

'Cause I hear your strange music gentle and true

Parent: But I'm so proud of everything you do there

Singing inside me with the best parts of you

Parent: Next time I see you you'll proudly sing it back to me

Now that I'm here
I hope somewhere you here them too
Now that I'm here

I love you...

Daughter:
It's okay you can go now 
____________________________________________________

Please Support Our Team!!

I created a team in Memory of Aria to raise money for the March of Dimes. In addition to Aria's memory, we are celebrating the lives of my 3 NICU graduates.  

Nothing in life prepares you for a long NICU journey.  Nothing prepares you to lose a child because they are premature. 

Please support our team.  Every day, babies are born too soon or very sick. The money we raise in March for Babies helps fund research to find treatments and preventions. And it supports programs in your community that give moms the best chance of a healthy, full-term pregnancy. You can donate securely online

 http://www.marchforbabies.org/WendoX4  

Memorial

A positive way to cope. lol

Goodbye 2011!

DID YOU HEAR THAT NEW AWESOME BIEBER SONG???   LOL LOL "Let it Be

"

I sure hope 2012, is a good year. I happily said goodbye to 2011! In reality, I am not sure if a new year really makes a difference?  A new year means we are a year older and possibly wiser? If only a new year could erase the negative events of years passed. I can't say that I ended 2011 with any regrets.  Of course, I  wish I could have foretold the future. Maybe I would have chosen to do some things a little differently; however, with the knowledge that I had, I did all that I could humanly do.

I got my first laptop for Xmas from my Dad this year.  Maybe I will get creative in 2012 or something. lol

Adapting to life without my Mom has obstacles. Having a very small extended, dysfunctional family causes my children to miss out on the whole "family" concept.

On the Thursday prior to Xmas, I had to take Lx to the emergency room for an episode with croup.  She was given an oral steroid and seemed to bounce back within 48 hours.  As if that was not traumatic enough, we apparently contracted food poisoning at Christmas eve dinner. It hit the family on Christmas day around 6. We were all sick as dogs. When both parents and the kids are sick, it is challenging!! I think Athena will forever associate the futon with puke.  It took a few days but we finally bounced back.  Lx on the other hand, was not so lucky. After being sick for days, her body became too weak from fighting and she stopped eating and drinking which caused her to be dehydrated.

My little man is going to be 10 in Feb and we never had a hospital stay.  I really didn't know what to expect from a pediatric unit.  Starting an IV on a dehydrated infant was not an easy task. A specialist had to come in to do it and he ignored the nurses when they said, she sucks her right thumb.  Needless to say, the IV was placed in her right hand making her even more miserable than she already was.  I had to sleep/rest with her on my chest because she would not allow me to put her down.  Even crazier was the fact that I could see the room that my Mom died in from Lx's window. Here we were one month later..... instead of a dehydrated Mom bringing me to the CMC, it was my dehydrated child. Yes, I was freaked out.